What is Mood Swing?
Mood swing is essentially a switch between depression and happiness in overall feelings. Depression is the inability to solve a problem for a long time. One of the most important things to understand here is that the thought circle is dependent on the criticality of the problems. The problems further are dependent on the biological threats.
The major biological functions are Survive, reproduction, and thriving. Even in your unawareness, the mind classifies each problem into these categories. Then it assigns priority.
For instance, a love failure is a reproductory problem. So it won’t affect your job. But if you were so deeply connected with the partner that you thought you can’t live without him/her, then it becomes a survival problem, causing depression.
Why Mood Swings
All of us want to be happy. A happy state gives a good feeling and reduces stress hormones, makes the brain work less on thinking, helps us connect better.
Everything has a cost, so is happiness. For example, singing makes you happy. So you dedicate time and energy to it to become happy.
But many times (or most of the time), we are fighting against one problem or the other. Be it relationships, be it health, money, growth, there is always something that we want to fix. Depending upon the criticality of the problems and the complexity of the solutions, our brains remain engaged.
The prolonged problem, for example, a toxic person in life, not having a job, a critical disease, invariably leads to a cycle of thoughts, many times negative, and most of the time cyclic, and after a time vicious cycle.
But, you want to be happy. So you do temporary fixes to detract the mind, like shopping, travel, movies. However, the thoughts continue in the back of the mind. The cost you pay is very high in terms of emotional regulation, willpower, and forcing the brain, rather than convincing.
So, even when you are happy, the brain is unhappy with the price you paid. So, you become sad for becoming happy. That’s ambivalence, contradicting emotions, at the same time.
Insecure Ambivelence Attachment Style
If you are reading this article, you probably have an insecure attachment style. An insecure attachment style is one where there is an extreme anxiety around a relationship. The fear of losing the partner is very high. There is a lack of intimacy, and an inherent jealousy.
Other personality disorders, or subtle mental and emotional health issues may also lead to insecurities about self and relationship. Please do self-assessment of your ambivalence by taking flowing two clinically validated online self-assessment tests.
Why Men Suffer from Ambivelence
Estrogen hormone, along with other hormones controls our mood. In stress, our body release a hormone called Cortisol hormone. When cortisol remains high for long period of time, our body gets tired and fatigued. We totally lose the energy.
Men have much lesser energy than women. Therefore, prolonged stress reduces the Estrogen, increase Cortisol, and other stress hormones. So, when you try to be happy you have to overcome all the fatigue and exhaustion caused the stress. Females can talk to others, discuss, and due to their higher mood hormone Estrogens, they recover faster than men.
If you find that your mood swings and relationship insecurity is getting out of the order, consider testing your stress and anxiety.
Remember your relationship mood swing is due to your inherent core issues. You can take following preventive measures.
What are Typical Symptoms of an Ambivalent Attachment Relationship?
- Frequent argument.
- Avoiding discussion around core issues.
- Marked by push-pull nature of relationship. There are cycles of romance followed by arguments.
- There is tremendous mental overload.
- At times it feels like walking on the shells.
- There are doubts about partner’s loyality.
- There is too much use of “I” between both the partners, and the word “we” get lost.
- There is very little ambition about how to grow together, or what can be built together.
- There is extreme amount of blame between the partners.
- The man is rarely acknowledged for everything he is doing in the relationship.
You need to train your mind to believe that the problem is just thriving and not critical. “Life would have been better with the ex around, but nonetheless it is good.”
That breaks the depression and thought cycle. Many also call this abundant mindset or ready to let go. You got the logic.
When mood swings increase, find the problem and convince yourself that it is non-critical and non-life-threatening.
Also, bring down the cost of happiness. Try a Dhaba instead of 5*.
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