Parental Role in Upbringing a Girl Child:(In-Relationship Parents): Relative Awareness

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Father, Mother and their girl child happy with Lyfas test

Upbringing a girl is far more complicated than upbringing a boy. It needs a high degree of awareness to give her a good life.

A. HANDLING RELATIVES:-

Husband’s Mother:-

1. In many cases, the paternal grandmother becomes extremely critical of the mother, when there is a girl child. She mocks and criticizes her mother at any given time.

This is because she feels good by comparing herself with the mother, having a male child.

Husband’s Sister/Brother’s Wife

2. If in case any of the relationships already have a boy child, the mocking and criticism, and bellow the belt attack amplifies through comments.

Result:- “Boys and Girls are same”. No, they are not, just because someone feels good by comparing.

Mother of Wife:-
3. She gets validation and now decides that the kind of mockery she faced will not be faced by her daughter. She wants her daughter to separate and come to her.

Result:- Separation risk will large loom, and from the Mother’s family, catalyzed by father’s relatives.

Sister of Mother:-

4. Irrespective of her marital status, her child, the core jealousy always makes her covertly criticize her sister, and overtly be sympathetic. If the mother shares any stress, through sympathy, it will amplify.

Result:- Increasing depression in mother.

Brother of Mother:-

5. Mother’s brother often is shared marital trouble and creates a perception that his sister isn’t that happy.

6. He isn’t aware of the human dynamics that girls by rule don’t share their happiness with others, due to fear of jealousy.

Result:- all the brother hears, is the plight of his sister, and makes a mind that she has to come back from the “hell”.

ToDo:-
Father:-

1. The moment, you have a girl child, make no assumption about the above. If you are staying with your parents, separate. You both can take care of your parents, even not being with them in physical proximity.

2. You have to take a stand against those cheap bullying against your wife. Your wife wants to see her man standing for her. Your silence is the end of your marriage, on paper, or for her.

Mother:-

You have to keep your parents, brother, and sister away from any good or bad feelings of yours. Find some old school friends etc to share them, not your relatives.

BOTH MUST REMEMBER:-

1. A fatherless daughter will be impulsive, emotionally dysregulated, sleep-deprived, prone to addiction, and will fail to create a long-term relationship.

2. Girls need social belongings. So, you both have to stay away from your respective families, and yet maintain a good relationship with them, so that your daughter can be loved and accepted by the extended family.

EXTENDED DISCUSSION:-

Often Indian society, and for that matter societies across the globe, are being invaded by Netflix and Television. People see what they want to see, and not what they need to see to learn what they should learn.

We hide the dynamics of the families, relatives because we feel uncomfortable revealing and discussing them. Come on, how can you say that my grandma doesn’t love me? Go deeper and look at your childhood, you will unmask these traits.

The BS of boys and girls are the same, you are like our son, and the nonsense of good education, etc can’t mask the horrible socio family dynamics that we have created, which is not suitable for upbringing a girl child. Increasing cancer, kidney diseases amongst girls, smoking, drinking, and other addiction disorders have totally put our girls into a grave.

Take notice. Stop blaming, comparing. Learn where you are going wrong and take the first step of course correction. Do not shy away from reality and the challenges. Parenting isn’t easy anymore. Learn and take action.

No matter how much you have given to your daughter, education, dress, gifts, if she wasn’t brought up by the right environment with a sharp mindset dedicated towards fundamentals, she will suffer, and hate you for this.

CONCLUSION:-

Intimate parents, a “Hero father”, a loving extended family, a happy mother without mood swings, are the setup you need to bring a girl.

You owe it to her, and the society to bring a high value, happy, healthy, smiling, fit, and sharp girl. If you want to test the psychological wellbeing of your girl child then avail our services.

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Rupam Das

Passionate, Accountable Student for Life

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